Stop sign in Melba Idaho with sun setting taken by courageously.u

How To Control Your Emotional Destiny

Do you want to learn how to control your emotional destiny (Albert Ellis’s word, not mine) and truly run your own life? 

The A-B-C model was my jam in grad school. Let me break it down for you… 

A (activating event) is what happened or what you perceived happened

B (belief system) is your conscious or unconscious belief about the activating event (A) 

C (consequence) is the behavioral, cognitive, or emotional disturbances 

When an event (A) is not congruent with your belief system (B), you may react with irrational beliefs. You might become disturbed about the consequences (C) that resulted from the activating event and become overwhelmed by your irrational belief systems. Irrational thoughts are absolutistic and extreme. They lead you to feel upset and roadblock you from attaining your goals.

Are you super confused? Take these examples for a spin.

  1. You didn’t get the promotion at work (A), and your self-talk says “I am not good enough” (B), so you begin to feel depressed (C)
  2. That handsome fella didn’t text you back (A), and your self-talk says “It’s because I’m not skinny enough” (B), so you stop putting yourself out there (C).

Most people believe an event is what causes the consequences. However, it’s the belief about the event that causes the consequences. You feel depressed and say it’s because you didn’t get the promotion. No, my friend! You feel depressed because of your irrational beliefs about not getting the promotion. You stop putting yourself out there not because he didn’t text you back, but because of the beliefs running through your mind. 

Your thoughts about what happens in life could lead you to feel depressed, insecure, not worthy, anxious, etc. Stop with the irrational beliefs, and I guarantee you will change your life! 

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