Is no a scary word for you? Do you find yourself committing to everything out of fear of having to say no?
If this is you, let me tell you a secret… It’s okay to say no! What is even better, is that it’s okay to say no and not give a reason. Mind blown right?!? I know mine was when this concept finally sank in for me. I was the queen of “yes” when my heart was screaming “no.” Don’t get me wrong, not all of my yes’s were silent no’s. I just found myself in a vicious cycle of committing to things out of fear of disappointment or judgment, which ultimately led me to feeling miserable. One day I made a conscious choice to change my ways. If I was saying yes, I wanted to know it was because I truly wanted to do something. I wanted to approach my yes from a place of love and happiness. I was over feeling resentment and misery. Life is to short for those nasty feelings.
This change was not an easy transition, and I am sure I ruffled a few feathers along the way, but guess what? I don’t care! I was tired of living my life for everyone else and at the end of the day feeling drained and empty. I made sure I was tactful in how I delivered my responses, and also aware that at times “yes” might be my only option (e.g. work). It took a while for the fear and guilt to subside, and at times I still find myself nervous to say no, but as time passes no gets a little bit easier.
I want to leave you with this… it’s okay to maintain healthy boundaries and say no. It is okay to not want to do something. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone when you say “no.” I personally feel that explanation is an attempt at rationalization. You rationalize because you are uncomfortable with the feeling of guilt that arises. I know it’s easier said than done, but do not feel guilty!
I challenge you this week to be mindful of your yes or no responses. If you say yes, check in with your thoughts and feelings? Did any uncomfortable feelings arise? If you said no, what did that feel like for you?