How To Have Unconditional Love For Yourself

Can your self-esteem use a power boost? 

The even though…nevertheless, exercise is excellent for breaking the cycle of eroding thoughts that are breaking down your self-esteem. This exercise also allows you to experience challenging events with unconditional love. Remember, love is a feeling; it is also an attitude that wishes the best for you. Love is a decision you make each day. Thus, intention and commitment are vital keys to loving yourself. 

Unconditional love is necessary for your mental health and growth. It means that you choose to love even though there are imperfections that we wish were otherwise. 

Below are a few assert self-love and appreciation key concepts: 

  • A person can acknowledge unpleasant external conditions without condemning their core self. 
  • People who dislike the self tend to use because…therefore thoughts (e.g., because I have gained weight, therefore I am not worthy) that erode self-esteem. 
  • The nevertheless skill provides realistic, upbeat, immediate response to unpleasant externals-a response that reinforces one’s sense of worth by separating worth from externals. 

Give it a try for yourself. When thoughts or situations arise that erode your self-esteem (e.g., pants fit too tight; bags under your eyes; someone criticizes you or calls you a name; you perform poorly; you remember that someone you love doesn’t love you) select an even though…nevertheless statement that expresses love and appreciation towards yourself. Try to say each statement with emotion. 

Below are examples of  nevertheless statements you can use. 

  • I’m still of great worth. 
  • I’m still an important and valuable person. 
  • My worth is infinite and unchangeable. 
  • I am still a worthwhile person. 
  • I sure love myself.
  • Inside I am really glad to be me.
  • Deep down, I really like and appreciate me. 

This is activity #17 from The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D.

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